Serious weight gain issues.

Never in my life did I think gaining weight would be a problem. Especially while pregnant.

I have 5 days until my doctor's appointment, and again, my scale is reading the same. I don't get it! I'm supposed to have gained more than a pound by now. I just hit 21 weeks today, so I need to be getting an extra 500 calories a day instead of the 300. I have been eating three times more than I have ever eaten in my life, so I didn't think twice about not hitting my calorie range. According to babyfit.sparkpeople.com, I should be getting at LEAST 2100 calories. The range is 2080-2380.

There are some days where it's a REALLY good thing I drank 700 calories of orange juice! It's bad when I enter all my food for the day and it says I've had 1000 calories. That of course sends me into a panic! I know Cole got his, since he gets them first, but I can't live off 500 calories! That could explain my lack of weight gain.

It's such a double edged sword, the entire new 'food and drink for pregnancy' plan. I have to be very strict about my water intake since the b/h, so with drinking so much, I don't get hungry. Then, you are supposed to eat healthier (which is all I have the taste for lately) and think about the quality of these calories that you eat - but healthy food naturally has LESS calories in it! I literally eat all the time too - there are times I will stop eating becuase I am tired of eating. Literally, like my jaw hurts and all I can think of that I did that day is eat. :D I even make sure that every day, I eat cookies. It's girl scout cookie season, I have a 10 year old girl scout niece, and I am pregnant!! You would think that would be an easy combination for calorie perfection, but nope, not even girl scout cookies do it! I'm only averaging about 1600 calories a day - that is way under what we both need. Of course, when I do head to taco bell, then I have a 1600 calorie dinner and blow that right out of the water :D

I've only gained one pound so far - that of course makes me wonder, if I end up having GD, what the heck will I do then? The only way I am getting even CLOSE to my calories is orange juice, iced tea, and cookies! The other question is which to worry about more, quality or quantity? And if I am under one day and then over the next, does it just even itself out?

I feel like such a pregnancy failure.


Houdini's Due Date

Don't get me wrong, never in my life have I felt more complete than with my son wriggling around inside me.

But at the same time, I feel so empty knowing that there was supposed to be another child, my child, who is not here. Who was supposed to be here. Even if I could go back and change it, I wouldn't, or I wouldn't have Cole. That of course brings a ton of guilty feelings, like saying that means I didn't want Houdini. I know that is not what it means, but it FEELS like that.

But I wish in some way I could have them both.

I was supposed to have a baby now.

It's weird, the feelings that come with this. I wish someone could just tell me how to feel, how I am supposed to feel. People always say that kids don't come with a handbook - neither does a miscarriage. You don't even know if you are "allowed" to be feeling this. At the same time, the guilt. The guilt of, I think about Houdini less now that I can feel Cole all the time. I have by no means forgotten my sweet baby, but the sadness is softened by the joy of Cole coming. I still think about Houdini all the time, but since the sadness isn't so life-consuming any longer, it brings feelings of guilt to replace that.

I just wish I knew how I was SUPPOSED to feel.


Well interwebs, time for the big reveal!


IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!

Cole Patrick is on his way!

We immediately went from the ultrasound to baby Gap outlet and bought him THE CUTEST outfit! We are so excited - I wanted a boy, but was SO SURE it was a girl! At the last minute, on the way there, I was asking Chris was he thinks it is - he told me "If I were putting money on it, I'd say girl. But just guessing? I say boy." Looks like Daddy was right!

Momma's little man is on his way!

...pics to come later :D


Gender Predictions

This idea is shamelessly stolen from Chrysallys :D

Madame Zaritska
: The day you deliver, outside will be foggy. Your baby will arrive in the early morning. After a labor lasting approximately 24 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 9 pounds, 13 ounces, and will be 20 inches long. This child will have dark brown eyes and barely there blonde hair. (We both have blue eyes.. but good try! :D And a 24 hour labor for a 9lb.13oz. baby?! Bitch.)

The labor of love
: It's a girl!

Babyman: It's a girl!

: 67% girl!

The Bump Chinese Gender Chart
: It's a boy!

Baby Gender Predictor: 69% girl!

Sex Ratio Test
: 65% boy!

Wedding Ring Test: It's a boy!

Shettles Method: It's a boy!

Family and Friends: 50/50 EVEN!

Intelligender Kit at 11w: It's a girl!

Blog readers: 69% boy!

10 and a half hours to go!


47 hours and counting.

I was doing really good with waiting. The days were just flying by, and the big date was getting closer and closer.


47 hours. I can survive this... right? :D


Nursery work has begun!

The tape is up, trim is done, and the rollers come out tomorrow!!

Well, 2 out of 3 trim is done, and 2 out of 3 rollers will come out tomorrow.. :D Because there is 3 days and 12 hours until we find out if the top of the room is blue or pink! :D The brown bottom of the walls and the white stripe will be completed tomorrow!

Pics will come up when the room is completed, an all in one type post. But for now, I bring you.... 19 weeks. :D


Husband FAIL.

Chris had some down time at work today between jobs, so he calls me up and we are talking about absolutely nothing - as usual - when the conversation takes a sharp turn.

DH: "Oh, and ya know, we need to register."

Me: "For... ?"

DH: "Baby stuff. We need to make a registry. I mean you know somebody is gonna throw you a shower, they will have to get invites and stuff out."

Me: "babe, we have plenty of time. We aren't gonna make a registry before we find out the sex, and people aren't going to throw me a shower NOW."

DH: "Well yeah, I just thought it might be fun to do it right after the u/s when we find out."

Me: "Okay, we can do that."

DH: "Oh and ya know, you said you were gonna make that list for me? do you have that?"

Me: "What list?"

DH: "All the friends and family addresses that you want invited to the shower, you said you were gonna get a list ready so it was already there."

Me: "uh huh."

DH: "What?"

Me: "Who called you?"

DH: "What?"

Me: "Who called you about throwing me a shower?"

DH: "Nobody. Why would you say that?"

Me: "Right..."

DH: "Okay, it was somebody, but I'm not gonna tell you who. But c'mon, you knew someone would throw you one..."

The day my husband leans over and says "Let's go baby shopping!" is the day hell freezes over, I die, and I become the reigning ice queen of hell. I drag him to BRU so often, he would be thrilled to never set foot in that store again. Plus, I can't get out of there without spending, oh, well, let's just say more than I should. I love my husband, but the man is cheap. :D

Husband, I married you. I live with you. I know you better than you know yourself - and your every mannerism. FAIL.

But it was really cute, he thought he was being all slick. :D

I love him :D


In honor of the interwebs...

There is now a "boyish" theme to my page. :D

I have total blog ADD. I can't stand it looking the same for too long, it bores me. I have the same issue with my tickers :D

So here's one more ticker for fun - but this one will last until it's done! :D


Yes, I did.

I did go to the grocery store, and buy strawberries and pineapple.

And I ate a full pint of strawberries and half the container of pineapple.

And it was delicious.


17w5d pic and update

New belly pic is up!

I had an appointment yesterday - and surprise! My first internal. My midwife Cheri was not amused that I was having contractions, and since some of them are painful, aka not Braxton Hicks, she had to make sure they weren't affecting my cervix. Let me just tell you - an internal where they reach ALL the way up and then AROUND and up further?!

OMGWTF!!!!!!! OUCH!!

Anyway, my cervix is still long, the contractions aren't having an effect, so I can just ignore them. I should sit through the painful real ones, but as long as they aren't happening often or regularly, I can ignore them.

I did finally gain a pound! Yay! Apparently though, I should be gaining more, so when I want that cheeseburger and fries (aka RIGHT NOW), I should feel free to have it. Awesome :D

The oranges cravings are in full force. I eat oranges until I am stuffed (one night I had 6!) and drink at least a half a gallon of orange juice a day. Fruit in general, really - yesterday's lunch consisted of running to the grocery store after the doc - since my oranges have to come from Stauffers! - and grabbing a half pound of pre-washed, cut strawberries, a pint of orange juice, and a handful of supersized wheat thins! Today, after talking to Callie, obsessing over fruit, I want strawberries and pineapples. Looks like a trip to the grocery store is in order!

I will have to have a specialized ultrasound later on (they think it will be too early to see it at the 20wk) to check spawn's hip - I was born with a congenital hip defect where my hip socket didn't close around the ball joint of my leg. There is about a 50/50 shot that it will be passed on to my child - I hope not. I was in a full body brace for a few months, and I was apparently the bad kid that could break out of the full body brace at 9 months old. my mom had to put 2 sets of 24 month clothes over top of the brace to keep me in it.

I have a feeling spawn is going to take after Momma - going to be a handful! :D

Finally - the big ultrasound has been set! Spawn will be revealed on March 16, 2009 at Noon!