Take two.

So my last post was all about my morning sickness, and I took down - now I suddenly have this huge fear.

It's the night before my viability ultrasound.

What if it comes back as non-viable? And do I really want what could be my last pregnancy blog about the morning sickness, the miserable part of pregnancy?

I like focusing on the things happening to me right now, not the things that could be. I think that's why I am so overwhelmed with the m/s, hormones, exhaustion... if I let that fill my mind, there's no room for anything else. Granted, it's hard not to remember m/s when you puke every time you eat, or don't eat.

Honestly, I do I even know that all this m/s is for a baby? I had it last time, and I have no baby, so really... How do I know it's even worth it to go through all this? How do I know it won't be for nothing?

Hormonal, emotional, fear.... it's easier to ignore it all and look at the right here, right now.

T minus 11 hours. Answers.

It kills me not to have answers yet, but I'm so afraid to get them.