And now I'm smoking.

I lost my motivation. I lost the drive. I screwed up the patch one day, slipped up, and I couldn't stick with it. I'm going to give it a few days and try again. Today was the first full day of not smoking since the slip, and I just couldn't do it. I didn't have the willpower to fight off that pull toward it. I'm now 'practicing'. I'm still fighting the urges, and only giving in when I get SUPER bitchy.

Right now I am completely exhausted. I just spent an outrageous amount of time tonight chopping, slicing, and making food. My legs actually HURT from standing so long. Flashback to working retail! I'd be fine walking that long, but not just standing. Ick.

All this is stemming from being the oldest 25 year old in the entire world. I have a kid that graduated high school, and is now enlisted in the Navy. Now I'm running my ass off to get everything done for the party because his mother is just NOT together on this. She just gave me a list of things we should bring (and coordinate with the rest of the family!) while she's doing practically nothing. We don't even know the official time yet - it's either 2 or 3. Fantastic. Man, she is such an airhead. I don't know why she didn't just let us handle this.

No I take that back, I do. CJ is a month and a half off his 18th birthday, and going into boot camp before that. She's trying desperately to be the 'cool parent' but at the same time calling him 'her baby' at the Navy recruiter! She was all upset that I took him to the recruiter's for his ASVAB instead of her husband - who CJ HATES - like I was interfering on their bonding time or something. She's now into the super clingy phase, where she is realizing 'her baby' is growing up and doesn't want to let go. Not to mention, as soon as CJ ships out, that connection to Chris is gone. In her efforts to be cool and hang on to all 3 of us, it's just become outrageously annoying - to all 3 of us. She acts like I'm her best fucking friend - I do NOT want to know about your sex life! CJ will most likely leave in less than a month. We find out on Saturday. Less than a month, and he's already talking about moving in with us to get away from her.

Example of the uh, 'coolness' : She said as a graduation present to CJ, she is going to get a tattoo of an anchor on her ankle, to show her support.

All 3 of us just stared at her for about a minute, then laughed.

Not even the guys IN the Navy get tattoos of an anchor. Plus, she would rather CJ be bagging groceries at the store than go in the Navy, and tells him this every chance she gets. She was refusing to let him go in to boot camp before his 18th birthday, until Chris ripped her a new one. Now she continually tells him how "she'll let him, but she won't be happy about it..." The kid is already enlisted! He's excited! DO NOT make him dread this - he's already sworn in, he has a military ID, you can't get him out of it now anyways, so SHUT UP!

She's becoming unbearable. Sorry if this all seems petty, but there is so much that goes on DAILY that I cannot even begin to write it all. On top of all of this, she is just in general, outrageously loud and obnoxious. That doesn't help it all either. :::Deep Breath::: One more month.

I will feel much better once the graduation party is over though.

On a really funny side note - When Christopher got back from the recruiter's, he gave me a bumper sticker that said "Proud Parent of a Sailor". When I took him home later that day, Deanna asked what he got, he told her his shirt, hat, and bumper stickers - she asked him for one. He told her No, they were going in his room! I was DYING!